I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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