just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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