friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
