Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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