If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
