At least make sure they are 18
Why
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
