u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
