can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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