i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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