you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
