Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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