i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
