I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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