C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
