we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
