You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
