Your tits are I can't wait for
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
