I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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