I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
a search helicopter?!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
