Don't you send me to vm
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
