I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
