Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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