If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
