the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
