She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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