I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
