I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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