sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
