it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
