he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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