I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
