your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
