Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
