No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
