super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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