I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
