We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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