What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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