Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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