we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
