So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
