I just saw a hot homeless man
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
