Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
