he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
