wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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