It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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