We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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