Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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