I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
