"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
